Every year the same tweets and Facebook posts start around this time: ‘Need a cuddle partner now the weather’s cold’ or ‘Who wants a partner for Winter Wonderland?’
Like the first leaves dropping in the autumn, these thirsty posts signal a season; cuffing season.
It’s the time of year where people are done flirting with Wayne Lineker at Ocean Beach Ibiza and spending every weekend in a beer garden and want the metaphorical cosy thermal PJs of a stable relationship.
Expect this year to see cuffing season to go into overdrive since – as we all know – things are up in the air more than they’ve ever been in our lifetimes.
We’re calling it ‘curfing season’, with reports of curfews and lockdowns prompting people to step up their cuffing game and ensure they don’t spend the festive season lonely as well as indoors.
According to figures from dating app Happn, 54% of singles are eager to find a new partner in the near future, so much so that two thirds said they’d change their lifestyle and download more apps to push things forward.
The difference between curfing season and standard old cuffing season is that you’ll probably smell a lot more desperation in the air – and those you’re talking to will likely want to fast-forward on the early stages and make things official much quicker.
Dating app comparison site Datingroo have seen a 91% surge in Google searches for ‘dating app reviews’, which they believe shows that people are keen to give themselves the best chance to find someone to share the lockdown blues with.
Alexander Patall, Dating Expert at Datingroo calls it catalyst dating, saying: ‘Since talks of a second wave, we’ve seen a huge surge in catalyst dating – as no one wants to do another quarantine solo!
‘Serial dating app users are on it all day, every day making sure they’re giving themselves the best chance to find a lockdown buddy to cling onto ahead of time.
‘It’s not human nature to spend extensive periods of time alone, and this only gets worse through uncertain times such as the current pandemic. Having a companion through isolation will provide comfort and more importantly a bit of fun!’
The only danger of this is that things will go so fast that you could end up locked down with someone new without really knowing (or truly liking) them.
Because we’ve heard so many stories come out of the first lockdown of couples who’d moved in after a short time or made things official with great results, it’s easy to assume this will be the same for everyone.
However, without proper boundaries and communication, things might not be so rosy.
As yourself if you really want to be with this person and if this person wants to be with you before entering into anything serious. Are you both just looking for comfort and companionship in a difficult time, or is there a genuine connection that could grow?
Try, too, to have something of a ‘truth-telling amnesty’ early on. Perhaps there are major parts of their personality or lifestyle that don’t align with yours, so getting together and getting all baggage out in the open can ensure no skeletons are left in the closet.
There’s nothing like a global pandemic to make you reassess your priorities and decide that love is all you need.
Just make sure that it’s actual love you’re looking for, and not a replacement for that hoarded toilet roll in the corner to keep you company over winter.
Dating terms and trends, defined
Blue-stalling: When two people are dating and acting like a couple, but one person in the partnership states they're unready for any sort of label or commitment (despite acting in a different manner).
Breadcrumbing: Leaving ‘breadcrumbs’ of interest – random noncommittal messages and notifications that seem to lead on forever, but don’t actually end up taking you anywhere worthwhile Breadcrumbing is all about piquing someone’s interest without the payoff of a date or a relationship.
Caspering: Being a friendly ghost - meaning yes, you ghost, but you offer an explanation beforehand. Caspering is all about being a nice human being with common decency. A novel idea.
Catfish: Someone who uses a fake identity to lure dates online.
Clearing: Clearing season happens in January. It’s when we’re so miserable thanks to Christmas being over, the cold weather, and general seasonal dreariness, that we will hook up with anyone just so we don’t feel completely unattractive. You might bang an ex, or give that creepy guy who you don’t really fancy a chance, or put up with truly awful sex just so you can feel human touch. It’s a tough time. Stay strong.
Cloutlighting: Cloutlighting is the combo of gaslighting and chasing social media clout. Someone will bait the person they’re dating on camera with the intention of getting them upset or angry, or making them look stupid, then share the video for everyone to laugh at.
Cockfishing: Also known as catcocking. When someone sending dick pics uses photo editing software or other methods to change the look of their penis, usually making it look bigger than it really is.
Cuffing season: The chilly autumn and winter months when you are struck by a desire to be coupled up, or cuffed.
Firedooring: Being firedoored is when the access is entirely on one side, so you're always waiting for them to call or text and your efforts are shot down.
Fishing: When someone will send out messages to a bunch of people to see who’d be interested in hooking up, wait to see who responds, then take their pick of who they want to get with. It’s called fishing because the fisher loads up on bait, waits for one fish to bite, then ignores all the others.
Flashpanner: Someone who’s addicted to that warm, fuzzy, and exciting start bit of a relationship, but can’t handle the hard bits that might come after – such as having to make a firm commitment, or meeting their parents, or posting an Instagram photo with them captioned as ‘this one’.
Freckling: Freckling is when someone pops into your dating life when the weather’s nice… and then vanishes once it’s a little chillier.
Gatsbying: To post a video, picture or selfie to public social media purely for a love interest to see it.
Ghosting: Cutting off all communication without explanation.
Grande-ing: Being grateful, rather than resentful, for your exes, just like Ariana Grande.
Hatfishing: When someone who looks better when wearing a hat has pics on their dating profile that exclusively show them wearing hats.
Kittenfishing: Using images that are of you, but are flattering to a point that it might be deceptive. So using really old or heavily edited photos, for example. Kittenfishes can also wildly exaggerate their height, age, interests, or accomplishments.
Lovebombing: Showering someone with attention, gifts, gestures of affection, and promises for your future relationship, only to distract them from your not-so-great bits. In extreme cases this can form the basis for an abusive relationship.
Microcheating: Cheating without physically crossing the line. So stuff like emotional cheating, sexting, confiding in someone other than your partner, that sort of thing.
Mountaineering: Reaching for people who might be out of your league, or reaching for the absolute top of the mountain.
Obligaswiping: The act of endlessly swiping on dating apps and flirt-chatting away with no legitimate intention of meeting up, so you can tell yourself you're doing *something* to put yourself out there.
Orbiting: The act of watching someone's Instagram stories or liking their tweets or generally staying in their 'orbit' after a breakup.
Paperclipping: When someone sporadically pops up to remind you of their existence, to prevent you from ever fully moving on.
Preating: Pre-cheating - laying the groundwork and putting out feelers for cheating, by sending flirty messages or getting closer to a work crush.
Prowling: Going hot and cold when it comes to expressing romantic interest.
R-bombing: Not responding to your messages but reading them all, so you see the 'delivered' and 'read' signs and feel like throwing your phone across the room.
Scroogeing: Dumping someone right before Christmas so you don't have to buy them a present.
Shadowing: Posing with a hot friend in all your dating app photos, knowing people will assume you're the attractive one and will be too polite to ask.
Shaveducking: Feeling deeply confused over whether you're really attracted to a person or if they just have great facial hair.
Sneating:When you go on dates just for a free meal.
Stashing: The act of hiding someone you're dating from your friends, family, and social media.
Submarineing: When someone ghosts, then suddenly returns and acts like nothing happened.
V-lationshipping:When someone you used to date reappears just around Valentine's Day, usually out of loneliness and desperation.
You-turning: Falling head over heels for someone, only to suddenly change your mind and dip.
Zombieing: Ghosting then returning from the dead. Different from submarineing because at least a zombie will acknowledge their distance.
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