We’re told over and over that dating is supposed to be fun.
You’re having the time of your young life! You’re playing the field! Seeing what’s out there! Getting tipsy and searching for a spark!
But that doesn’t stop those pre-date nerves, the eternal frustration and ennui of attempting to find love online, or the emotional drain of going on yet another terrible date.
To help soothe at least the first bit on the list of dating horrors (because unfortunately they can’t prevent the misery of going for dinner with a man who attempts to ‘helpfully’ order a salad on your behalf), dating app Hinge has teamed up with Headspace to create dedicated pre-date meditations to tackle those jitters.
They’ve decided to do this collaboration after a study from Hinge found that more than three quarters of the app’s users have felt anxious or nervous before a date, and that one in four have felt especially anxious for both in-person and virtual dates amid the coronavirus pandemic.
If you head over to Hinge.co/headspace, you’ll find guided meditation videos specifically designed to quell the anxiety of going on a date.
There’s one called Pre-Date Nerves, which is ‘designed to make sure those nerves don’t take over’, and one called Your Inner Voice, to help ‘quiet your negative and self-critical thoughts, freeing you up to be more comfortable and more yourself when you’re on a date’.
Each meditation is just five to six minutes long, so you can easily wedge them into your getting ready routine or have a listen on the train ride over to the venue.
Justin McLeod, founder and CEO of Hinge, said: ‘At Hinge, we know taking care of your mental health and wellbeing is crucial to creating a meaningful connection, and over these past few months, singles have been feeling more anxious.
‘Having personally dealt with addiction and substance abuse, mental wellbeing is a topic I’m deeply passionate about for not only myself but our Hinge community.
‘We want our users to be calm and relaxed when connecting with each other, so it was a no-brainer to partner with Headspace to develop the first-ever meditations for daters.’
Eve Lewis, the Headspace director of meditation, also chimed in to celebrate the collab, commenting: ‘We’re so happy to work with Hinge to bring a little more mindfulness into people’s lives as we all navigate this challenging time.
‘World Mental Health Day is a great reminder to be kind to our minds. If this year has taught us anything, it’s that our mental health is as important as our physical health.
‘We hope these pre-date meditations can help bring some calm, clarity and compassion during these stressful times.’
Dating terms and trends, defined
Blue-stalling: When two people are dating and acting like a couple, but one person in the partnership states they're unready for any sort of label or commitment (despite acting in a different manner).
Breadcrumbing: Leaving ‘breadcrumbs’ of interest – random noncommittal messages and notifications that seem to lead on forever, but don’t actually end up taking you anywhere worthwhile Breadcrumbing is all about piquing someone’s interest without the payoff of a date or a relationship.
Caspering: Being a friendly ghost - meaning yes, you ghost, but you offer an explanation beforehand. Caspering is all about being a nice human being with common decency. A novel idea.
Catfish: Someone who uses a fake identity to lure dates online.
Clearing: Clearing season happens in January. It’s when we’re so miserable thanks to Christmas being over, the cold weather, and general seasonal dreariness, that we will hook up with anyone just so we don’t feel completely unattractive. You might bang an ex, or give that creepy guy who you don’t really fancy a chance, or put up with truly awful sex just so you can feel human touch. It’s a tough time. Stay strong.
Cloutlighting: Cloutlighting is the combo of gaslighting and chasing social media clout. Someone will bait the person they’re dating on camera with the intention of getting them upset or angry, or making them look stupid, then share the video for everyone to laugh at.
Cockfishing: Also known as catcocking. When someone sending dick pics uses photo editing software or other methods to change the look of their penis, usually making it look bigger than it really is.
Cuffing season: The chilly autumn and winter months when you are struck by a desire to be coupled up, or cuffed.
Firedooring: Being firedoored is when the access is entirely on one side, so you're always waiting for them to call or text and your efforts are shot down.
Fishing: When someone will send out messages to a bunch of people to see who’d be interested in hooking up, wait to see who responds, then take their pick of who they want to get with. It’s called fishing because the fisher loads up on bait, waits for one fish to bite, then ignores all the others.
Flashpanner: Someone who’s addicted to that warm, fuzzy, and exciting start bit of a relationship, but can’t handle the hard bits that might come after – such as having to make a firm commitment, or meeting their parents, or posting an Instagram photo with them captioned as ‘this one’.
Freckling: Freckling is when someone pops into your dating life when the weather’s nice… and then vanishes once it’s a little chillier.
Gatsbying: To post a video, picture or selfie to public social media purely for a love interest to see it.
Ghosting: Cutting off all communication without explanation.
Grande-ing: Being grateful, rather than resentful, for your exes, just like Ariana Grande.
Hatfishing: When someone who looks better when wearing a hat has pics on their dating profile that exclusively show them wearing hats.
Kittenfishing: Using images that are of you, but are flattering to a point that it might be deceptive. So using really old or heavily edited photos, for example. Kittenfishes can also wildly exaggerate their height, age, interests, or accomplishments.
Lovebombing: Showering someone with attention, gifts, gestures of affection, and promises for your future relationship, only to distract them from your not-so-great bits. In extreme cases this can form the basis for an abusive relationship.
Microcheating: Cheating without physically crossing the line. So stuff like emotional cheating, sexting, confiding in someone other than your partner, that sort of thing.
Mountaineering: Reaching for people who might be out of your league, or reaching for the absolute top of the mountain.
Obligaswiping: The act of endlessly swiping on dating apps and flirt-chatting away with no legitimate intention of meeting up, so you can tell yourself you're doing *something* to put yourself out there.
Orbiting: The act of watching someone's Instagram stories or liking their tweets or generally staying in their 'orbit' after a breakup.
Paperclipping: When someone sporadically pops up to remind you of their existence, to prevent you from ever fully moving on.
Preating: Pre-cheating - laying the groundwork and putting out feelers for cheating, by sending flirty messages or getting closer to a work crush.
Prowling: Going hot and cold when it comes to expressing romantic interest.
R-bombing: Not responding to your messages but reading them all, so you see the 'delivered' and 'read' signs and feel like throwing your phone across the room.
Scroogeing: Dumping someone right before Christmas so you don't have to buy them a present.
Shadowing: Posing with a hot friend in all your dating app photos, knowing people will assume you're the attractive one and will be too polite to ask.
Shaveducking: Feeling deeply confused over whether you're really attracted to a person or if they just have great facial hair.
Sneating:When you go on dates just for a free meal.
Stashing: The act of hiding someone you're dating from your friends, family, and social media.
Submarineing: When someone ghosts, then suddenly returns and acts like nothing happened.
V-lationshipping:When someone you used to date reappears just around Valentine's Day, usually out of loneliness and desperation.
You-turning: Falling head over heels for someone, only to suddenly change your mind and dip.
Zombieing: Ghosting then returning from the dead. Different from submarineing because at least a zombie will acknowledge their distance.
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Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
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