Last night’s Love Island saw Kyler take another step forward in their relationship, as Tyler asked Kaz a significant question on very the spot where they shared their first kiss.
No, they aren’t getting married, and, as far as we viewers are aware, they’re not calling each other ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’, but they are ‘exclusive’, with Tyler holding up a series of towels on which he’d written the words: ‘Shall we be exclusive?’
Kaz looked positively gassed to be asked and said ‘yes’ with a huge smile on her face, but some viewers have been left baffled by the concept of being exclusive without being in a relationship.
It’s a valid question, what with arguably the main criteria for getting into a monogamous relationship being exclusivity.
First, the basics. When you’re dating ‘exclusively’, you are not dating any other people.
But when navigating the many stages of dating, it’s important to never assume that you’re exclusive if that hasn’t been specified.
Hayley Quinn, a dating expert with Match, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Modern dating is confusing. Seeing someone regularly, messaging every day and being physically intimate doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship. In fact, from the first date, there are lots of different ways your relationship could evolve.
‘In the past when two people met, they were on a set trajectory towards getting married. Now, at every stage of modern dating, verbal consent is required to show commitment and make the relationship official.
‘If you haven’t had an explicit conversation about not seeing other people, chances are you aren’t “exclusive” yet.
‘Here it’s often safe to assume that the other person is still getting to know other people. However, if you do commit to being exclusive with a partner it still may mean you’re not ready to use the label “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” just yet.’
So what exactly is the difference between being exclusive and being in a relationship?
Hayley says taking the latter step indicates more of an intention to be together long-term, adding: ‘This is also around the time where you may find your lives become more intertwined, meaning you might meet their families, friends, and someone will refer to you as their boyfriend or girlfriend in public.’
In the end, every couple is different, and if you and your partner feel comfortable with the ‘relationship’ label sooner rather than later, then you might not feel the need to have the ‘exclusivity’ conversation at all.
After all, for couples who are consensually non-monogamous, exclusivity may never be a factor.
The most important thing to remember is to just do you.
Hayley says: ‘As your relationship grows, take time to get to know your partner and let the process unfold organically.
‘Remember, keep true to yourself within this stage of the relationship while you’re figuring each other out and make the next steps in your own time, at a pace that feels most comfortable.’
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